What’s that they say about the best-laid plans?
Yesterday, as
planned, my buddy
Damon and I rented a kayak and paddled into San Francisco’s McCovey Cove to join the flotilla of fans assembled for Major League Baseball’s Home Run Derby.
Our mission: to clearly display the
FanChatter.com logo banner from our boat every time ESPN’s cameras followed a home run ball out of AT&T Park and into the bay below.
With a little luck, viewers of what ESPN considers its
highest-rated broadcast event each summer would see our logo multiple times, generating literally millions of valuable impressions.
Well, we had no luck, but I never had more fun being that unlucky in my life.
We had wondered if our plan would upset some of the paying sponsors of the event (Chevy and MasterCard both scattered giant inflatable baseballs with their logos throughout the Cove). We thought ESPN might try to avoid showing our sign (although the genius of the scheme was that they had to follow any ball out of the park no matter where it landed, kinda like the
John 3:16 guy positioning himself behind the goalposts at football games). We imagined being arrested by the Coast Guard for smuggling in illegal advertising.
But despite concealing our rolled-up banner in a foldable chair bag (who would bring a chair along on a kayak trip?) and, when we explained that we had a sign in there, receiving a warning from
Ted at
City Kayak that we’d be kicked out if we “displayed any commercial logos or anything that would make ESPN upset”, we were allowed to shove off in our blue kayak packed tightly with food, gear, and ambition.
Note: We didn't end up taking the orange kayak pictured because it was determined that we needed a deeper boat to house our stuff (you can see the blue boat we eventually took at left). Also, steering a single-person kayak is MUCH easier than steering a two-seater, just so you know.
Zigzagging closer to the Coast Guard checkpoint I couldn’t help but notice the giant machine gun bolted to its bow and I wondered if our sign would make a suitable target.
The inspecting
officer glanced at our cargo and opened our cooler bag, remarking “Hmm, bunch of snacks and stuff.” Looking at the long bag at my feet he said, “Got a chair in there. Okay.” (Again, why would anyone pack a chair on a kayak trip? That cracked us up). And that was it. No guns fired. No prisoners taken. We were on our way.
On our way in, I stopped “steering” long enough to grab this shot of the ballpark.
Pac Bell, er, SBC, er, AT&T Park is up there with Wrigley Field as my co-favorite of all the parks I’ve been to (I attended a Giants-A’s spring exhibition game there in 2001, the year
Barry went on to hit 73), mainly because of the great city it calls home and the romantic allure of a long enough home run to right landing in the ocean. THE OCEAN!
Speaking of the ocean, we were on it all day, from the time we floated in amongst the early birds around 1:30pm until we zigzagged away after
Vlad Guerrero hit his third and decisive final round home run (to left, all to left) a little past 8:00pm to take the title.
Worth noting…
-When we first arrived, fans standing along the railing behind the park were throwing tennis balls, allowing the boaters to practice (A) catching with their fishing nets, or (B) ducking to get out of the way, whichever floated your, um, kayak. From the water you could try to throw the ball back all the way up to the bleachers level above (my throw landed just short), but before long the
Wave Runner Cop killed the game of group catch, I guess because too many fans passing by on foot were getting hit. Thankfully, that didn’t stop the
MLB promo people from tossing hundreds of fun-size Baby Ruth bars our way, and taking one off the water I soon remembered how good the occasional Baby Ruth bar tastes, especially seasoned lightly with the saltwater on my fingertips.
-We met a lot of great people, from
Hawaii Rob on his surfboard (with his PBR sign) to the
two dudes in the huge green party tube (that let us buy some of their beer and hang on against the tide) to the
bearded Navy vet guy,
the girls from San Diego,
Batman and Superman, and everyone else. It was simply one of those great parties you’ll always remember.
-The only home run balls that made it out of the park and in the water were hit during the All Star batting practice sessions from 2:30-4:30pm, although there was no live TV coverage at that time so we chose to wait on our sign until the Derby (per the warning from Ted the Kayak guy, if we were going to get kicked out, we wanted to get kicked out after being seen on live TV). Overall I’ll bet about a dozen balls made it out, with the bats of
Junior Griffey,
Big Papi, and Bonds being the most notable launch points.
-
The guy in the boat immediately to our left – and I mean we were rubbing elbows – had a ball lodge right next to his left hip when he wasn’t looking. Normally the fans on the top rail would point and yell when a ball was on its way out, but this ball came after a foul that nearly found water, so no one was watching. I happened to see it as it cleared the wall and once I realized what was happening it was in my neighbor’s boat. It didn’t hit him, and it didn’t even bounce. It couldn’t have landed in a more perfect place. That’s as close as I got to getting a ball all day.
-Both Damon and I were chattering from the boat (demonstrating FanChatter’s unique mobile sports fan chat features) but we soon realized the importance of keeping our heads up and our cargo secure. Not long before the aforementioned ball nearly landed in my boat, a kayak was capsized by the melee sparked by another splash landing. Not wanting to drown my phone, my camera, or especially my sign, when I chattered I chattered quickly.
-In case you’re wondering, yes, I did have to pee, and no, there were no floating restrooms. Aquafina water bottles have a larger mouth than most. Enough said.
-Once the Derby started we readied our banner for action. It suddenly became much harder to stay in one place, and breaking away from the pack meant drifting with the tide into (and under) the stadium. The Wave Runner Cops were literally pushing the flotilla back away from the building, but that only caused more movement. Holding what you felt was a good spot at a good angle was difficult-to-impossible as no one was anchored and everyone was jockeying for position. I would not be chattering or taking photos during the Derby itself for it became all I could do to stay in place and raise our sign.
-When the sign was up, it was glorious. The plan of sewing two banners together back to back leaving the bottom edge open for ends of paddles to be inserted into each corner worked to perfection. When raised and pulled tight the 8 foot long banner must have been about 7 or 8 feet in the air (the length of the paddles). It actually acted like a sail at times, moving not just us but all the boats around us, too. But moving wasn’t a good thing. We knew where the ESPN cameras were positioned (the main one sitting high above on a platform beyond the foul pole in right) so we fought to keep our sign at a good angle, but doing so meant taking the sign down and regaining our position. Up and down, over and over, lessening our chances of being seen on TV.
-Regardless of positioning, however, we made sure to fly the sign when the three lefties were up. But
Morneau,
Howard, and
Fielder all failed to advance beyond the first round, and NONE OF THEM GOT ANY BALLS FAIR AND WET (though I saw in the highlights that Morneau came the closest). So with only righties left in the competition the boats started to clear out early, leaving us even more prone to drifting away. I called
my dad to ask his advice (he was watching on our behalf to coach us on positioning for TV) and he said there were occasional cutaways to the Cove in- and out of commercial breaks so there was still a chance of being seen. Inbetween paddle strokes I tried to read the latest Chatter on the site to see if anyone else had advice for where we might be spotted. We learned that the floating putting green was being featured only after they began to take it down. But we stuck it out, flying the sign as high and as often as we could and praying for opposite field power.
Alas, no Home Run Derby balls were destined for the sea that day. The papers called it a disappointment. I agree.
Our day ended as it began, this time waving goodbye to the Coast Guard officer and his machine gun. As it turned out, no one cared that we were displaying our
FanChatter sign. Some floaters-by tried to rip Corporate America for planting brand names in the water until I explained that I was the small businessman spending his own sweat equity to promote my own passion project, and for that I got props. But the thought of kicking us out never seemed cross anyone’s mind.
Additional Props…
-
Slantwise, for jamming to fine tune the site in time for a long day of failsafe Chatter. Great work guys. Now on to more feature improvements, changes, and additions….
-
Nobl (the girl who helped pick me up from the airport) and
Meaghan (the girl who rescued us shivering on the side of the Embarcadero after we found land again). Both of you were much nicer to look at across a dinner table than…
-Damon, without whom, this trip wouldn’t have happened. Thanks for letting me stay at your place, for rides to- and from the airport, and for hoisting that sign when you would have rather talked to girls. We argued about navigation and whether a sign can be seen when there are no TV cameras are around to see it, but in the end we had a time worthy of hanging on your wall of memories. I hate UCLA, but I’m reminded of
Coach John Wooden saying “make each day your masterpiece.” That’s what we did (even though Bonds vs. Griffey in the Derby Final would have made the day a whole lot more interesting).
To read how we chattered about the day as it was happening, visit our FanChatter pages
here and
here.
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On the ride to the airport this morning Damon reminded me that marketing is repetition. A lot of people saw our sign (in person) yesterday, and while few if any may have gone home and typed “
FanChatter.com” into their browsers right away, most will likely remember the crazy guys in the boat when they see our name again. Maybe then they’ll pay us a visit. The same thing goes for the
NBA fans I met in New York
at the draft.
My job now is to make sure they do see us again… and again… and again.
SPECIAL REQUEST: We’ve already seen ourselves in a bunch of McCovey Cove photos from the Derby posted at
Flickr today (
here,
here,
here, and
here), and to see all of my photos visit the
Home Run Derby Photo Set on our
FanChatter Flickr Page, but
if anyone reading this happened to take a picture with our sign in it, please let me know by entering a reply below. You can understand why I didn’t get any of my own, and I’d really love to show everyone what it looked like from afar… myself included.
